SpankadinL33t led the charge, his guild, IhasApwner, followed suit. Kel-Thuzad hovered just yards away. Almost in range…Seconds from judgment…time to send this foul beast back to the shadow…if my epic helm drops off this n00bus I’m gonna shit myself, thought Spank. He attacked. No effect. He primed his Judgement of Light and released it with all the holy power he could muster. Nothing. What is this new devilry?
Kel-Thuzad lingered in mid air, unfazed, “MINIONS SUMMONS. SOLDIERS OF THE COLD DARK, OBEY THE CALL OF KEL-THUZAD.”
“Fall back to the center! Back to back! He’s summoning his minions!” Spank cried to his guild. From the Darkness a myriad of Abominations and Banshees appeared, their evil stink filling the great hall of death.
“Melee DPS, on the Abominations! Ranged, take out those goddamn Banshees!” ordered Spank.
Wave after wave of undead met IhasApwner, only to fall at their feet. Fireballs, curses, and shadowbolts flew through the air. MooovinHealz sent a lighting strike of healing light through the guild. Spank let loose a medley of judgment, exorcism, holy wrath, and consecration attacks. His DPS was pushing 3k. L33t. Soon enough, the waves became less and less, till only a few scattered undead remained. Is this it? Is this all you can muster, foul necromancer of the Lich? It was then, that Kel-Thuzad struck.
“YOUR SOUL IS BOUND TO ME NOW. THERE WILL BE NO ESCAPE.”
KT fired a frost bolt. An orc fury warrior froze in his steps, his swinging battle axes and bloodlust scarred face sat absurdly still behind a foot of Lich ice. His health drained too fast to heal. He was dead.
“DPS down! DPS down! Healers, focus heals on the ice-blocked target! Come on boys, take him down!” commanded Spank. The battle raged on. Shadow fissures scarred the floor beneath them. Frost bolts screamed through the air, hitting raid member after raid member. But the lines held. IhasApwner was on the path to victory.
The lights flicked on. “TIMOTHY! JESUS CHRIST ITS 4:30 IN THE MORNING! ARE YOU PLAYING THAT GAME!?”
“Pwnm...Is pwninm hmmmmmmmmm, leet gearrrr. Needs itrrrrrrmmmmyyeeaesss,” Timothy gurgled through his half-open mouth. Drool tracks and potato chip crumbs were caked to his chin. His bloodshot eyes sat lifeless behind his greasy face. In all of his glory he was wearing just briefs and one sock. He may have soiled himself.
“Oh my god. This needs to stop. Timothy?! Tim?! Hello?!”…..
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